Testimony.

So I have been planning on doing this for a while now but just have not had the time to do it, well I have found the time, so here it is.
I have grown up in a christian family my whole life, the Bible was read to me, we sang Bible songs, prayed and memorized the Bible. We were, and still are, very involved with church, my mom plays the piano for church and my dad runs the sound system.  You know, the kind of people that if the doors were open, we were there.
I always considered myself to be a Christian, I had prayed "the" prayer like a million times a matter of fact every time there was a alter call I was there. When they asked you to say the prayer I did.  I did it all the time, every time and anytime I could. It just seemed like something was missing, I was empty of something I felt so desperately that I needed. It was during the night of November 2006 it all changed.  I was laying in bed and was like, "What am I doing?"  "What if I die?!!"  "Where would I go?" "This has to change!" So, I got up, woke up my mom and asked her if she could pray with me, and THEN and THERE my whole life changed for the better!  Until that January, two months later, when once again, everything changed.  God had a plan. That January I started the most intense spiritual battle. I was scared out of my mind for 3 months straight.  I prayed so many times for God to take me out but He did not. He decided on not taking me out of what I was going through because HE was going to bring me through.  In March while visiting my family in Tennessee I prayed that last time for God to take me out and He determined that the trial was finished and it was done. I let that time define me for a very long time. Every time something would come up reminding me of that trial I freaked.   I didn't know what to do and I would panic.   I would beg God saying  "no, no, no, please don't let me go through another trial like that, please!"  He is faithful and I didn't go into a trial for another 3 years.  I learned many things with that trial, many thing that now I know God was using to prepare me for what was to come.

Last year, 2009, to be exact, was what He was preparing me for. Starting that December I went into another trial and spiritual battle, which would in turn  make my last trial seem very easy. This trial lasted 5 months. Those months were filled with fear, doubt and more intense fear. For 3 months I cried everyday, asking God and other people in my life why this had to happen, why me?  What did I ever do?  I was so filled with fear that sometimes eating was a challenge, sleeping was a major challenge and life seemed to be more than I could handle.   I can not tell you how many people came beside me to help me get through. There were countless emails/texts of people sending me Bible verses and words of encouragement. But, as much as I am thankful for the people that came beside me, the major thing that sticks out in my mind is the way GOD held me the whole way through.  Little things made the impact on me. An example would be the one time when I was going through a great deal of fear and I was praying and asking God to show me that I would get through and be all right, well in that very instance I heard the very quiet sound of wind chimes.  I can not tell you how beautiful those chimes sounded to me, it was like an instant peace. God did not take me out of this trial this time, He wanted me to fight and He wanted to take me through and show me that He would do it, and  He most definitely did. I fought many thoughts, doubts, and fears in that time. When the the final test was to come in May when everything that I ran from I had to look at it in the face and I did and with God's grace I was able to get over it.  A bunch of things that have come more and more clear to me everyday, and one of the things during the trial, I would ask God,  was that if one person could profit from the trial I went through, just one.
 Just a week ago a very good friend told me how she was blessed that I could share with her what God had done in me and I was so blessed that God took cares the wants of my heart and that He loves me so! Now there is much to this story but if I put the whole thing down it would be a very very very long post so this is a summary of my life. It is now October and I still deal with some of the things in the past but with God I am working everyday to overcome. but through that trial God has shown His joy in my sorrow,  His strength in my weakness, His peace in my restlessness, His hope in my fear and He has loved me every minute of my life and I am forever greatful and humbled. My life in a nutshell= God is great! Ps. 18:1 The Lord lives!! Blessed be my Rock! Let the God of my salvation be exalted! I hope your weekend is blessed, Love Annie.